Newsletter #263 - A Grippy Case

Hey Shitcoiners,

It’s probably best not to look at the charts. Nothing good will come of it. In this week’s newsletter, we have plenty of memes to distract you as well as in-depth commentary of the FTX court case! Before we get to all of the juicy FTX shenanigans, a reminder that the sellers might not be exhausted just yet.

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Capitulation is near.

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Now let’s get to the SBF and co. Do you remember?

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How times have changed… It’s quite refreshing to finally understand what was going on behind the scenes in The Bahamas. It wasn’t pretty. Last week’s court proceedings ended with an appearance from Gary Wang. Martin Shkreli with the details here on the “Allow Negative” situation.

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As this week began, we were greeted with a familiar face. Caroline was ready to make an appearance.

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Steal her look. It will only set you back $8,000,006,000.

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Caroline was ready to tell all as she hoped to save herself from a lengthy spell inside.

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Speaking of Genesis, are they finally shutting down?

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Back to the courtroom we go. One man who we have not heard from recently is Sam Trabucco. We do not know if he’s still sailing the seven seas, but his name keeps getting brought up. Trabucco, Chinese bribes and Thai prostitutes. This case is the gift that keeps on giving.

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Where is Sam?

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We are yet to find out the circumstances around him jumping ship. One reason probably was that he couldn’t keep up with SBF's schedule.

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Anyway back to Caroline. She had almost a billion dollars at one point. It was mainly in FTX-related tokens, but that’s still a fair chunk of change.

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Apart from having a billion dollars sitting in her FTX account, Caroline also had a list of “things Sam is freaking out about”. We can only assume the “global shortage of Adderall” was on the list too, he would be freaking out about that.

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Another thing Sam was freaking out about is the price of Bitcoin going up.

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Remember how SBF was considered a relatable billionaire nerd as he drove a Toyota Corolla? Well, that was all a lie to keep up appearances. His hair was a part of the act too!

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The spice would continue to flow out of Caroline throughout the week. She was sleeping with SBF as far back as 2020 and it turns out he had aspirations to become President of The United States. That didn’t turn out well.

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Sam didn’t want the grippy to get in the way of his presidential aspirations.

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INSIDE HER TRADING!

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If the “slippy grippy” reference is going above your head, let us enlighten you with its origin. You’re welcome.

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All we keep hearing is that SBF didn’t like Caroline. The polycule sounds like it was quite a stressful living situation.

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The courtroom artist was doing Caroline no favours. Here’s Shkreli.

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No mercy.

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Yikes.

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This sums up the state of things quite succinctly.

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Are you looking to recoup some FTX losses? BitMEX has you covered.

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Another tidbit from an unnamed source next. We are surprised the conspiracy theorists haven’t looked into this further yet.

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That’s enough FTX talk but continuing with the legal theme, Trader Joe is being sued by Trader Joe.

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It was a bad week for Avalanche.

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It also wasn’t a great week for Gitcoin who lost $500,000 in the name of merchandise, memes and marketing. Ouch.

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It often looks like hope is lost in this space. But if you think you can get one over on Justin Sun, you are mistaken. Don’t steal from Justin. He will get it back.

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Most of the industry beef happens behind keyboards, but sometimes it makes it out into the wild. This is cheesy, but pretty funny.

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We round this off with the media to tell the world that cryptocurrencies are bad.

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There is only one man who can save us and the world as we know it. It’s time for a thread, Adam Cochran.

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That's all for this week. Follow Andreas on Twitter and stay up to date with us @Shitcoindotcom too. See you next time.

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Team Shitcoin.com