Newsletter #265 - Are You Not Entertained?

Hey Shitcoiners,

This week has been a whirlwind of emotions! Our timelines have been getting a little more bullish in recent weeks. We have suffered enough.

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But to get back to bullish posts 24/7 we needed a catalyst, and we got one. Tuesday saw BlackRock’s Bitcoin ETF ticker listed on the DTCC website! This would only mean one thing…

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We may be re-entering a period many of you know as “Up Only”. For those of you not versed in how this works, the price goes up and never comes down. We are fucking with you, Arthur.

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We are so back.

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As the week developed, we would see lots of buying as market participants tried to avoid being sidelined by any ETF announcements. $35k was hit. Mandrik finally flipped his painting.

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We can happily confirm that we are back to “basically a fire sale”.

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It has been a while!

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How will your children remember you, anon? No one likes a bag fumbler.

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You might have seen those calls for $12k. If you were in Capo’s paid group then there’s a high probability you are NGMI. As always with a post like this, there’s a disclaimer. Capo “will flip bullish when the time is right”, kek.

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Another man caught offside was Sifu. His ETH short is not doing too well. RIP.

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Liquidate him!

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It’s the perfect time to not be middle of the bell curve.

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LINK saw some healthy gains, but this is not something to be celebrated. Who likes LINK?

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MicroStrategy is in profit once again. Queue the Saylor memes.

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If we keep going at this rate we can be bigger than Sikhism!

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The writing has been on the wall for a while. Historically there has always had to be some blood for us to enjoy the gains. We are ready for our reward for getting through this shitshow.

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It is time for our girlfriends to get girlfriends.

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The bears haven’t flipped just yet though. Majin keeps talking about 66 days from now. He doesn’t like the bulas.

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Now for a segment you have all been waiting for. What’s new with SBF and the FTX trial? The grippy and other former FTX brass were just the entrée last week, we are now entering the main course of proceedings. On Thursday SBF testified without the jury present. Judge Kaplan wanted to watch SBF dig himself a hole on his own.

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The autism is strong with this one.

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Oh, Sam.

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What

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This private testimony gave SBF the perfect opportunity to throw the FTX legal team under the bus. Word on the street is that Dan Friedberg likes to party.

Q. Were you aware that Dan Friedberg used illegal narcotics with your employees?

MR. COHEN: Objection.

THE COURT: Sustained.

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And the memes keep rolling.

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This is all for the greater good.

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We also learned that despite spending 2000+ hours gaming, SBF was still pretty terrible at League. This guy can’t catch a break.

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Following the testimony without a jury, the big event was brewing. It was game time!

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Once again, Tabasco’s name was brought up but was quickly glazed over. We did learn that SBF took a day off every “few months”. When you are that juiced up on amphetamines, piña coladas on the beach are the last thing on your mind.

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And shock horror, SBF enlightened us that Caroline had never focused on risk management. We had no idea.

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Sam also had a new definition of market manipulation, which he subtly pinned on Jane Street.

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We haven’t seen the internet run wild with this one just yet, but boy the possibilities are endless.

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The trial will resume on Monday and like the rest of us, we are pumped. Place your bets!

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Tiffany Fong got her timing all wrong as she befriended SBF after he was arrested. This reads like she’s one of those women who have serial killer penpals. We are also wondering who the hell “Taco” is…

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