Newsletter #266

Hi Shitcoiners,

As always, we have plenty to get through but first let us turn your attention to some video content you might enjoy!

On this week’s episode of Wage Cucking With Jmo, Guy Young dropped in for a chat. Tune in to learn how Ethena is levelling up DeFi with their USDe stablecoin and their plans to launch the internet bond.

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Also, last week’s newsletter was expertly read on video by the Doctor. Thank you for including us as a fake sponsor this week!

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To the big news of the past 24 hours. Sam Bankman-Fried has been found guilty on all seven counts. If you want to see how it all went down, check out the coverage from Inner City Press below. It was gripping stuff.

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The next 4+ months could be pretty rough for SBF.

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He’ll have a lot of time to think about his fate. It’s not looking pretty. Yikes.

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Erik wanted to remind you all that regulation is not your friend. FTX had all of the licences, schmoozed policymakers and went under the radar. The market brought SBF to justice.

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RIP.

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We don’t know how Sam envisioned this would go. When he was giving answers like this, it was never going to end well…

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They did Caroline dirty with the court sketches, but for SBF, he got the movie star treatment. Look at that jawline!

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Speaking of movies, Jonah Hill is a shoo-in for the role when it happens. The movie will be so farfetched that the nocoiners won’t believe it’s true.

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If you are looking for some humour to brighten up your Friday, here you go.

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We’ll prepare the decorations for the party (and livestream) that we will inevitably do on the 28th of March. We’ll keep you updated!

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CZ selling FTT kicked off a lot of the suspicions that something was up at FTX. Here is what CZ looks like today.

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Speaking of FUD, one journalist didn’t like CZ’s van.

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As Bitcoin took off last week, market participants eagerly awaited what would follow. Van Eck published a price prediction for Solana. It was pretty wide, but if we hit a bull run they can see the price hitting $3,211.

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It’s hard to say what sometimes drives crypto prices, but that prediction cannot have done any harm. Solana had a monster week.

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Did you front-run the institutions, anon?

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Gabriel did not. The Soylana t-shirt wears him now.

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It could be worse than sitting in ETH, you could have had your funds stolen in the Unibot hack.

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Unibot still made money even when things were going bad. GMI.

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As they performed buybacks even they were not safe from sandwich attacks, which they cite as a key USP. Welp.

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They have handled this quite well, however. Here’s an update on the current state of play.

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Hacks like this give the Elizabeth Warrens of the world more ammo. You will not be anon, anon!

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We interrupt this newsletter for an important announcement. Adam Cochran’s sister is a baddie.

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Supposedly not his sister though.

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“Bro if you can hit that that’s W don’t let these haters say otherwise”.

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On the topic of finding love, imagine OKCupid meets prediction markets. We don’t know what to think but hey, there’s a lid for every pot.

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That's all for this week. Follow Andreas on Twitter and stay up to date with us @Shitcoindotcom too. See you next time.

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Team Shitcoin.com

Newsletter #266 - Guilty