Newsletter #289 - Underwater

Hi Shitcoiners,

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The prospect of war, biblical floods, rekt portfolios were just some of the topics this week. However, this edition is not all doom and gloom. Are you currently on your 30 minute lunch break from your job at the golden arches? Now is the perfect time to get up to speed with the industry news.

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GCR has reemerged and he has an important message. It is time to scale in, or if you are already fully invested, just survive.

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Jmo tried to say the same thing but when he says it, it’s sexual harassment. RIP.

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The trick to winning at this game appears to be having large cojones. We must remain solvent longer than the market can remain irrational.

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Snowden has it worked out. This is a man who does not watch the 5 minute chart. He is preoccupied with the latest anime.

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We don’t know if this is a man or a woman. Our main concern is how short they had to cut their hair.

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Imagine being down so bad that you can’t even afford a haircut. Practice risk management.

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It’s probably best not to tell your girlfriend about that one!

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Mich is also down quite a bit but there’s only one thing he cares about and it’s disgusting.

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How much do you need to recover? Study this chart. You can make it all back.

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Are you trading lunar phases, anon? Study the moon or “NGMI” is in your future.

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Supposedly the prospect of war is driving down our bags in the short term. Here is another reminder to stop living on short timeframes. Think medium to long term. Buy the invasion.

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That’s enough doom and gloom for now. When the UFC fighters started tweeting about our coins in the past, we thought we were at the top. Is this time different?

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The bullish news does just keep on coming. Over in Hong Kong, Bitcoin and Ethereum ETFs have been approved!

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In other international affairs, the whole industry was seemingly in Dubai this week. Gajesh bought himself a market-friendly seat.

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However, attendees would have to deal with some rather adverse weather conditions. Dubai, famously known for being surrounded by desert, was underwater.

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This vehicle sums up your positions.

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This turn of events did bring with it some opportunity. Event attendees are now discovering exotic locations to sail their yachts.

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And Uber Black is taking an exciting new direction.

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It’s all getting a little too biblical.

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Don’t choose water, choose Rich. We hope you got yourself down to the clerb. Arthur is known for throwing a fun party.

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Arthur was busy buying shitcoins this week too. However, everyone was trying to frontrun his buys.

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The Solana memecoin craze still pushes on. With the chain appearing to be more stable this week, bridging was occurring. We are all a little scarred from the past few weeks though.

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There are some things which are only possible on Solana.

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Was that the top?

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Everyone is farming points these days. However, it’s important that your dev is based… based in a country without sanctions.

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Next up we have some hard hitting Gwart posts. Did you know you needed $2 million dollars worth of TON to be a validator?

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And stop asking where the yield comes from. You will add years to your life expectancy.

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It’s almost Bitcoin halving time! We hope you too have had a productive epoch.

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We can’t think of anything more productive than fighting people from Twitter in real life. Some of CT are now putting $150,000 on the line for real life fight club.

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We will unfortunately never know what could have been.

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Over in the US, T-Mobile employees are being approached to help with sim swaps. Stay safe out there.

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On the chain, a group of scammers is also after your funds. If you are apeing into projects on Blast, this is worth a read.

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To the courtroom. Lawmakers want to know exactly what SBF was up to with the CFTC chair, Rostin Behnam.

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We will just leave this piece of art here.

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Speaking of fallen heroes, how did Su make it all back? Is this real money?

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Is all of this getting too much? It is time to start looking after yourself. Imagine your body is a market. It is time to long it.

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Before we clock out, a reminder to head to the Shitcoin.com Telegram chat. You will be in good company with Arthur Hayes and other newsletter enjoyoors!

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That's all for this week. Follow Andreas on Twitter and stay up to date with us @Shitcoindotcom too. See you next time.

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Team Shitcoin.com