Newsletter #312 - The Bulls Are In Control

Hey Shitcoiners,

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We hope your bags are packed because the timeline has cemented itself as bullish. After a rough summer things are looking up! The bulls are back. Ape city.

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Bitcoin hitting $100K has been on the wish list for years and who knows, it could be a reality soon. When it happens, expect some acquaintances of times gone by to reappear.

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Remember Kole? He has been calling for $44K for months. RIP.

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If you like the sound of $100K, you are going to love what Van Eck are thinking.

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In previous runs the thought of major financial institutions pushing our magical internet money was a pipe dream. Yet here we are.

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But is the TradFi entry into the space a good thing? Peter Schiff had a hot take.

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We interrupt this newsletter with an important puzzle that requires your immediate attention. Unlock your 5% Bitcoin yield now!

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In other big news this week, Caroline has just won an award!

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And received a 2 year prison sentence.

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It turns out snitches do not get stitches.

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We don’t condone crime but at least you know the playbook now.

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Ryan Salame is set to serve a much more substantial sentence but he can’t stop tweeting…

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Imagine going through a court case where your future hangs in the balance. What would you do? Caroline was writing steamy romance.

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We hope she sends a copy to the new roomies.

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Diddy is omnipresent. So GCR is Diddy?

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Prison szn is almost over for CZ, just in time for the bull run!

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A lot of you were in Singapore. A few of us from Shitcoin.com hit up Solana Breakpoint. We unfortunately were not invited to the mind melding session.

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There were some wild scenes.

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Iggy Azalea threw her party and we got to see what Su Zhu is doing with Arthur Hayes’ money.

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Arthur thinks Su has fallen off. We didn’t know he owned a robotic sex doll company. What a hero.

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We can’t believe we missed the message.

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All proceeds went to the performers everyone.

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RIP.

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Bitlord was not impressed. We wonder what this means for any future MOLLY parties? Will they be drug-fuelled ragers or a little more lowkey?

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If you are offended by any of this there is hope. Call 1-833-666-2738 now and check if you are entitled to compensation.

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Back to Bitlord, he got in a bit of a scuffle at fight night.

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Bitlord and Ansem have been having a back and forth for months but it turns out the Solana main character has his eyes on someone else. His next ring appearance will be against none other than BitBoy.

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Ansem has to win some more fights so his side chicks stop having main dudes.

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There were a lot of photos being taken in Singapore. It’s important to practice good OPSEC. Never look directly at the camera.

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And try not to support whoever is screwing you. What a terrible look.

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Speaking of ETH, does anyone really know what Eigen Layer does?

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To scams! Imagine stealing $243M and then getting ZachXBT’d.

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You are all the same.

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We finish up with an important post. Living in your Cardano is not a flex.

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That's all for this week. See you next time.

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Team Shitcoin.com