Newsletter #324 - Slightly Cooked

Hey Shitcoiners,

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It has been a rough couple of days. How are you holding up? If the market is getting you down but you can’t bear to look away, we have memes, shenanigans and spicy commentary to get you through this.

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To kick things off, we think it’s is worth remembering that in this space we are built different. You can’t shake us out with a hawkish reaction to a FOMC announcement.

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We aren’t macro investors at Shitcoin.com so don’t expect a rundown of what it all means from us. All we know is that Powell well and truly pulled a hawk tuah. He spat all over that thang.

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We smell some shenanigans.

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Fast forward 10 years and this is what you can expect.

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Sigh.

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Ethereum holders have not had the mind-melting pump they so desperately crave. Ethereum supporters, this is you.

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Round tripping can lead people to do crazy things.

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With prices back to levels seen 10 days ago, El Salvador reached an agreement with the IMF for a spicy financing package. This means that their “Bitcoin as legal tender” stance has to end.

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Was this a masterstroke to allow them to buy even more BTC? Big if true.

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As the US pushes ahead with plans for their strategic reserve, other nations are taking note. Those of you who are in the trenches will remember the FUD around Germany selling a few months ago. Their politicians aren’t happy as they fumbled the bag.

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The Dutch government want in.

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Despite this pullback in price, we shouldn’t forget the elation many felt this week. The timeline was euphoric!

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Merry Christmas!

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Here’s a healthy reminder that thinking long term pays off. Didi nailed it.

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Bullish.

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It’s important in times like these to get your priorities straight.

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Michael Saylor has risen to main character status in the last few years. His strategy has come under scrutiny but here is is proving that this is no different to what we have seen IRL. Thug lyfe.

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However, Martin Shkreli is not a fan.

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Solana had a rough week. The word on the street is that they can’t pump anymore.

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The chain’s native token appears un-pumpable but those in the trenches have been bidding hard on Fartcoin.

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Has the curse been lifted?

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Basement dwelling degenerates could not entertain distractions with price action like this.

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Unlimited potential.

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The AI coin boom does raise some interesting questions. It’s hard not to think 90% of projects are LARPing.

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In a strange twist, those of you who are still in NFTs might have hit the jackpot.

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Users were expecting a market cap in the billions from PENGU but on launch they got something far more outrageous. RIP to the top buyers.

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Big numbers.

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It has been a very profitable few weeks for those who scooped the PENGU airdrop and had their losses wiped with HYPE. Others were not so lucky.

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The Hyperliquid money glitch continues.

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At the moment it seems like everything they do turns to green!

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However, jail time may be on the horizon.

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With every airdrop comes talk of exit liquidity. It’s important to understand that if you are not living a luxurious lifestyle, the odds of you being the chump buying from the whales is high. RIP.

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Here’s an artists recreation of what exit liquidity looks like.

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Hailey Welch allegedly dumped all over her fans. She has now been asleep for what feels like a lifetime.

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As expected those who lost their life savings have decided to talk tuah lawyer.

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In other legal news, CSW was having his day in court… well kind of. He was in Asia and called in.

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He got sentenced as expected apart from the fact it was suspended for 2 years. No arrest warrant. Craig just can’t do anything unlawful in that time. What happens next?

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Crypto-related court cases are always quite a treat. They don’t like His Excellency.

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In other main character news, CZ has called out a “sustainable hybrid L1” that hinted a partnership. NGMI.

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So cooked.

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To Bold. He has been churning out comics on the regular. Congratulations on number 1,000!

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As we near the end of this week’s edition we want to take a moment to zoom out. The US government haven’t bought your coins yet.

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Stay locked in.

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And you could soon look like Andre Cronje. GMI.

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See you next week!

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Team Shitcoin.com