Newsletter #332 - Max Shitcoinery

Hey Shitcoiners,

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This week has been a shitcoin extravaganza. We have plenty of shenanigans to get through as always! Before we run through all of that, Michael Saylor up first with an important message.

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While Bitcoiners remain relatively unfazed at present, the Ethereum community is in a rough spot. We hear communism is not good for your bags.

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It keeps getting worse.

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The competition between the chain founders is heating up. Vitalik is firmly in the lead.

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We will just leave this here.

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If you think his latest tweets are bad, we have some terrible news for you. Vitalik has been delivering for years.

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Bearish.

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There is one saving grace for some Ethereum enjoyooors. If you were trying to turn your ETH into more ETH on FTX, you have technically lost nothing.

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The sideways action has gotten so intense that we have resorted to waiting on CZ dog pictures.

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And the man delivered! Broccoli took over BNB Chain.

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The play was obvious. Get in as early as physically possible on CZ dog coins and make millions. Awkwardly, this was the most left of the bell curve thing you could have done.

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CZ decided to “let the best community win”, which meant a plethora of Broccoli coins launched. Unfortunately the majority of the degenerates who decided to play got rekt.

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Not everyone got rekt though…

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The temporary migration of shitcoin enthusiasts from Solana to BNB saw multiple casualties. RIP.

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In other shitcoin news, Dave Portnoy learned that crime is now legal this week. The founder of Barstool Sports realised he could pump and dump shitcoins.

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The degeneracy would escalate.

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Choose Rich Nick emerged as a whistleblower in the story. Dave had allegedly been speaking with industry movers and shakers about launching his own token.

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But alas, he decided the least criminal thing to do was to buy a large stake in a hilarious shitter.

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It even got listed on Kraken!

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Nick had been calling Dave out for days. He even made a music video.

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Was there really any wrongdoing here? The token peaked at a $200m market cap and is currently around $50m. Allegedly Dave has never sold. Crime is legal now anyway.

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In the midst of Dave’s shitcoin adventures, a government-backed memecoin by the Central African Republic hit a billion dollar market cap. Then unsurprisingly it slowly bled back to tens of millions. You can’t make this up.

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The state of shitcoins is so bleak that holding for longer than 8 hours runs the risk of permanently becoming a community member.

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Teams in this space will dump on you, and you will be happy.

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With some of the focus shifting to the depths of the shitcoin game, it is worth remembering that there are plenty of chart enjoyooors around. Word on the street is posting charts is not profitable.

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In times like this it’s important to let the market cook. The Trump Pump appears to have hit a bit of a wall but in an unlikely twist, Jerome Powell could get us back on track.

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We round this one off with what not to do at a funeral. RIP.

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See you next week!

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Team Shitcoin.com