Newsletter #338 - Exchanges at War

Hey Shitcoiners,

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Your bags are feeling a little less heavy this week but that doesn’t mean the last seven days have been an easy ride. Exchange controversy, memecoins and even a bit of a pump. We also had plenty of cope as bearish influencers pretended they knew what was coming.

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One of the biggest stories this week came from Hyperliquid. JELLY, an illiquid pump.fun token was the focus of the latest value extraction attempt.

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In light of the attack, Binance decided to list perps. Oh no they didn’t!

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Was this all an inside job?

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If we have learned one thing from previous attacks on Hyperliquid, it’s that Jeff usually has a plan.

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Rekt.

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Many jumped on their high horses and said that Hyperliquid’s approach was unethical. Was Jeff just between a rock and a hard place?

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Hyperliquid.

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Is this all a little too much for your smooth brain to compute? Here’s a video explainer. Laugh and learn at the same time!

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Arthur is on team HYPE.

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That was not all that Binance was involved in this week, they removed a questionable “market maker” but fell short of naming and shaming.

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Rumours began to swirl that in fact it was the team dumping. Big if true.

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Zach shared some intel.

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The best bit about this next tweet is calling your company “post-launch” when you have only launched an ERC-20 token and mainnet isn’t live. NGMI.

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While Binance put out fires, Coinbase were making moves.

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If you want to rise to the top, you have got to get that routine on lock. The meme was born, the memecoin was too.

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Elite.

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Relatable.

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To be successful it is essential to have the right tools.

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One man who might benefit from a solid morning routine is 37 year old grandpa Charles.

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Degenerates will go to desperate lengths to revive their bags. We are now betting on Christ’s return!

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Let us pray.

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"This market will resolve to "Yes" if The Second Coming of Jesus Christ occurs by December 31, 2025, 11:59 PM ET. Otherwise, this market will resolve to "No". Maybe there is a play here.

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Speaking of second comings, Trump’s return to the White House has led to more Trump-related moves in the space. Truth Social are launching a series of ETFs with Crypto.com. Zach thinks CRO is a scam though.

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Trump is striking deals across the board.

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The missing piece now is getting the Middle East to publicly bid. Inshallah.

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You can’t stop this train. GameStop are in.

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All of these deals have one end goal. Mega-mansion in Sardinia.

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If you are thinking of where to spend your billions, Jmo says you should skip the Maldives. He is not a fan.

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Just a year ago, the SEC were going after us all but this new administration hits different. Crime is legal now.

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Yes.

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Unfortunately, not everyone can be a beneficiary of relaxed US law enforcement. BitBoy has been taken from us.

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He will be missed.

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A prison sentence has been a sign of a bull run in the past. Adam Cochran homeless in the woods eating canned food could also be considered a bottom signal.

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