Newsletter #340 - Trade War Trenches

Hey Shitcoiners,

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We might not be out of the woods yet but this week has been eventful to say the least. The Tariff Wars are here and we are at the mercy of Donald. Are you having a good time?

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That generational wealth that was getting you laid may no longer be in your possession and that’s okay.

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The volatility of the past week has produced some excellent memes and commentary. Here are a few of our favorites.

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This sort of price action really gets you thinking about the difficult questions.

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At least you have been speedrunning life. There’s always a silver lining.

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Unsophisticated margin traders were hurting. They even got Elmo!

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Rekt.

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We don’t know where things are heading from here but it might be time to lock down your significant other. This next post makes you think doesn’t it?

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But don’t mess it up. It could get very expensive.

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If relationship-maxxing isn’t your thing, become a prepper instead.

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When CT is dicking all over you for losing it all, keep in mind that the gloaters who haven’t lost it all yet might have taken it from you in the first place.

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Many of you bought into the masterplan. You better pray the Trumps aren’t retarded.

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Sacks on the other hand, not retarded. He executed the perfect frontrun. Gg.

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Wasn’t it just a few days ago we were decoupling?

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RIP.

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So what happens next? It is in times like these we look for hope. Jordi weighed in with a history lesson to make us feel better.

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We might have survived the worst of it.

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Arthur says it is time to buy.

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Everyone wants to know what Cobie thinks but he says he has no skills or qualifications. Unfortunately, the rest of us don’t either.

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At least he gives us valuable life advice.

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So allegedly the worst is over. We are ready to max bid.

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Just no bidding ETH.

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Send help.

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The ETH price is looking rough. It’s looking so bad that even Ameen’s mom called to check in on him.

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This is Ameen and his mom.

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It wasn’t that long ago that Eric Trump told the world it was a “great time to buy ETH”.

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That aged horribly. Some who did as he asked are seeking legal advice.

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If those lawsuits come off, remember how you kicked a man when he was down. World Liberty Financial sold some of their ETH for a $125M loss. A claim they refute.

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If you are an ETH bidder please keep in mind that you can never win.

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We have no idea if Polkadot is a good bid or not but Gavin thinks his blockchain shits all over Solana with 1000x less in monthly activity.

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The markets are spicy but at least digital asset regulation is loosening. We had another win!

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And it didn’t stop there.

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What happens to Microstrategy if it gets worse before it gets better? Some text from their risk disclosure shed some light.

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In other business news, Ripple has acquired Hidden Road in one of their largest acquisitions yet.

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To memes. Truth Terminal was the catalyst for many memecoins this cycle. Unfortunately, Andy sold the biggest runner.

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We saw a few dire wolf-related memecoins surface this week. When we are making such revolutionary scientific breakthroughs it makes you wonder why L2 blockchains are still broken.

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This seems like a fitting blockchain segue to a great Steady Lads episode from the past week! Jeff was on the show.

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Jeff sparingly does media appearances. Ross hasn’t been making many recently either. But now, that is about to change. Catch him in Vegas in May!

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We round this one off with a “welcome home”. Wang Chun is back on home soil. Hopefully he didn’t leave any positions open.

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See you next week!

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Team Shitcoin.com